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Tuesday, November 8th 2005

8:04 PM

The Pink Panther and the Inflatable Exercise Ball

  • Fact of the Day: It takes 9000 doners A DAY to supply the UK's demand for blood... and this is supposed to be the most advanced treatment we can think of...
  • Music of the Day: The song from the Simpsons episode 'Marge Verses The Monorail'
  • TV/DVD/Movie of the Day: 'The Pink Panther Film Collection'
  • Xbox Game of the Day: Sorry, it's still Brian Lara... perhaps this feature isn't such an exciting idea...)

Hmm that sounds like a good title for a movie... Or maybe not. As it happens, the two elements of today's title are not actually linked by anything other than the fact that they were the first things that came into your humble reporter's mind when thinking of what rubbish to bombard you with for this post. The Pink Panther refers to the film of the same name, which we sat through the other night (and as anyone knows, when the viewing of a film is talked of in terms such as "sat through", you know it aint good); while the exercise ball is, surprisingly, an exercise ball that I bought the other day. But more on that later.

The idiot brother who has been mentioned occasionally on here before, this time took it upon himself to buy The Pink Panther DVD boxset, containing four good films, one rather so-so film, two films that don't even have Peter Sellers (the star of the series and by far the biggest reason it was such a success) in them, and missing one film that is argueably the best of the series. So all in all it's a bit of a rough deal, but then that's the way it always will be until the movie studios can finally work out that it would be better for everyone if they just shared their rights when two of them own different movies of the same series. I have a boxset of the complete Laurel and Hardy that is missing some of their work, because it belongs to a different studio, and somehow they obviously believed it would be in their interests to publish that individually rather than have it included in the huge set that all L+H fans would be getting. But I digress.

I am not sure how universally known the Pink Panther series of films is, so perhaps a brief introduction is in order. The films have undoubtedly one of the most famous theme tunes ever composed, and the cartoon panther that carried out his adventures over the opening credits even went on to get his own show. The Pink Panther was actually not a cat at all, but a massively valued diamond with a tiny flaw in the shape of, yes you guessed it, a pink panther. The films centered on the misadventures of bumbling French policeman Inspecter Clouseau, almost all of the laughs coming from the acting of Peter Sellers in the role of Couseau, and the consequences that came from the character's ineptitude. In that sense there are some similarities between this and The Naked Gun trilogy, which also featured a bumbling policeman causing hilarity wherever he went. However there are marked differences, not least that the latter doesn't need the central character to have a silly foreign accent. That said there are some extremely funny moments over the course of the series.

The problem is that this first installment was extraordiarily slow out of the starting blocks. In a two hour movie, the first hour is basically entirely forgettable, featuring constant switching between scenes that were cut too short and involving so many people that you don't get a chance to get involved with the story. After the first hour things start to pick up, and it is notable that this is when Sellers starts to get more of the scenes. There is a bedroom scene involving Clouseau and his wife, in which she ends up trying to hide her lover (who is the villain he is trying to capture) and her lover's nephew (who thinks he is her lover) from him, which is quite funny and finally gets the ball moving for the really brilliant set-piece of the show, when the Inspecter and various of his men, all in fancy dress for the party they are staking, end up chasing both the original villain and his nephew, who are both suspected of stealing the Pink Panther diamond and are both wearing identical gorilla suits.

That moment was a shining light in an extremely poor movie overall. The whole thing dragged so badly - even the court scene afterwards was so very dull - that it almost makes you want to switch off and go back to working on that sampler of the alphabet... if you happen to be a nineteenth century housewife, of course. But it is worth sticking around because when it is funny it is extremely funny. Plus it is interesting to see how the series started, because as sequels came out and Sellers was shifted to the front of procedings, things suddenly took a definite turn for the better.

So all in all, I wouldn't recommend you make a special effort to watch this. If you get the chance, such as if it happens to be on TV or if someone lends you the DVD, then by all means watch it because the funny moments really are very funny, but other than that it really is not up to much. Far better are the sequels such as The Pink Panther Strikes Again, The Return of The Pink Panther, and A Shot in the Dark. The reviews of which you can no doubt look forward to in coming weeks.

I think it's quite possible I've bored you enough for one night. Talk of exercise balls would just kill you off completely, and we couldnt have that now, could we. So get some sleep my little one, you've had a busy day...

And if talking down to you in a slightly disturbing manner doesnt make you want to keep reading this blog, then I don't know WHAT will...

Seeya

SIMARK

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