Take a look into the wild, chaotic, and frankly disturbing, mind of a young would-be writer from the UK.
Just don't look too closely...
Apologies to the hoards of American readers or non-football supporters who come here regularly (yeah right) but unless you follow English football the following may well bore the pants off you. On the other hand, you're probably used to that sensation if you've been here before, so feel free to read on...
Regular fans of this blog (and if there are any, no miracle can save you now...) will know that recently Chelsea Football Club were correctly labelled here as "evil". So imagine the celebration and adulation spreading across the nation (who said I couldn't be a rapper) at the news that said force of evil lost to Manchester United yesterday in the Premiership, thus ending what at one point seemed doomed to be a unendable run of undefeated matches.
The West London side, having spent an enormous amount of money basically buying a new team last year, then went on and basically bought a second team to add to the first this year with another enormous amount of money from the virtually bottomless pit that is the fortune of owner Roman Abramavich. The result was that they won every one of their first nine league matches, giving them a nine point lead at the top and leading one bookmaker to pay out on them as champions. Needless to say, for anyone who is actually interested in competitive football, this was not a good time.
The team seemed to be unbeatable, not because of the manager's extraordinary tactical skills (anyone who calls defending as deep as possible and then hoping for a mistake from the opposition a brilliant tactic is a referee short of a match), but because of the endless amount of star players at their disposal. When you have getting on for two hundred million pounds worth of players, it isn't hard to imagine how you might break down teams eventually. Not only is this very unfair for the obvious financial reasons, but I have never seen a team play as cynically or unproffessionally as this Chelsea team.
Here is a side who will, unfailingly, insist on holding an opposition player back without attempting to play the ball if there is a risk of them getting an advantage. When the referee shows a yellow card, it is treated as a business transaction, something the player was planning all along. When Chelsea are attacking, they constantly dive, push, and use any other means to get a foul advantage over the other team. The amount of times that they have scored goals from free kicks that shouldn't have been given, or from a corner when they blatantly prevented a defender from doing his job, is too much to recall, except to say that it has been enough to win them many games.
Not only that, but certain Chelsea players, having made the most of a tackle against them in an attempt to get a free kick, will then insist that the referee give the player a yellow card, or sometimes even a red. This is absolutely disgusting, and sums up for me why this team does nothing whatsoever for the game. It also goes some way to explaining why your humble correspondent was so thrilled when Darren Fletcher's header looped over both Petr Czech the goalkeeper and John Terry the defender to score the only goal of the match. This defeat comes after a fortnight that has seen the blues drop points in the Premiership for the first time, to none other than the bottom club; get knocked out of the League Cup to local rivals Charlton; and lose in the Champions League to Spanish club Real Betis. Suddenly football seems slightly unpredictable again, although it would still seem silly to back anyone other than the richest club in the world.
Meanwhile, in Fur Elise news, you will be thrilled to note that I am now playing it all the way through with almost no trouble. Okay it may not be concert level just yet, but considering the level I was at when I started just five months ago, I think I'm allowed a little more time for that. Indeed, I actually dug up the book I was working from back then, and it is hard to believe that I have come so far so soon. I don't mean that to sound like I'm bragging, because heck knows I didn't have anything to do with it - I just practice a bit, go to bed, then wake up and find I can play it better than before. It's amazing what the brain can do when you... erm... put your mind to it...
Anyhow, 'tis all for now...
Seeya
SIMARK