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Friday, October 28th 2005

10:27 PM

Slow News Day

  • Fact of the Day: There never was a Roman Empire in ancient history. All the artifacts that we have are from a time mirror, showing the horrific future awaiting us not to long from now...

Following on from the serious current affairs nature of the earlier post, it seemed only appropriate to continue the theme. Unfortunately your loyal correspondent is currently watching his local news programme, so the nature of the discussion might be slightly less cutting edge...

Just finished is an in-depth report on an elderly couple that, wait for it, got sent a demand for a bill that they didn't owe! No need for such looks of shock and fear though - they sorted it out and now they're getting a nice bunch of flowers from the company involved. This warranted the main slot on the programme: what I believe they call in the business, a slow news day.

So did I really come on here just to tell you that? Well quite possibly. I'm afraid to tell you dear reader that your humble writer is in one of those moods where all manner of rubbish could be about to spew forth fountain-like into the giant pool that is the Internet. For example, I could tell you how I've had a song by a guy called James Blunt on my mind all day, and it has slowly been driving me more and more insane as time has passed. I don't like James Blunt. I never liked James Blunt. To me he is just Coldplay two octaves higher, and considering how much I REALLY don't like Coldplay, that isn't a compliment. So for me, getting one of his songs stuck on my mind (I couldn't tell you which one, except that it isn't 'Beautiful', but the word still features a lot - that is when he isn't whining just at the upper range of the human ear) is just slightly worse than deep-frying my own scalp and eating it with a side order of roasted hair. Only just.

So I need a new song. I heard earlier that the Magic Numbers are going to be performing on a chat show later so that'll be good (that is the latest group that I listen to... I actually got their album at the same time as the Beatles' White Album! ask me some time and I'll tell you the full ten thousand word story). Ironically The Magic Numbers are also rather higher on the musical scale than your standard male-led band, but in this case I think it works wonderfully. Actually the group is made up of two men and two women, with one man on lead vocals and both women also singing, as well as playing all manner of instruments.

Well I just tuned in to said chat show in hopes of seeing said band, and instead there is Jade Goody, one of the most extraordinarily irritating, ridiculously stupid women ever to besmudge British screens. How in the name of monkey bars this woman has managed to make a CAREER in the public eye, I shall never know.

Anyway, I can take no more. And neither, I suspect, can you. I warned you it would be random. Fortunately Newsnight Review is starting, so I can feel intelligent.

Seeya

SIMARK

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